Tuesday, 29 January 2013

Shire News.

I had the monthly Village Newsletter today. For some reason that currently defies elucidation, I like reading the Village Newsletter. Three notes:

1) They want ‘snow wardens’ to spread grit on the untreated lanes of The Shire during icy weather, but they don’t say how the spreading is to be done. I have my doubts.

2) There’s to be a Live Irish Music Night at the village pub this Friday, but I already knew about that and decided I shouldn’t attend. Few things are closer to my heart than Irish music, but there are impediments. For a start, I might have to rub shoulders with somebody who isn’t my best friend at the moment (and it isn’t who you might think it is.) Secondly, ever since the onset of the dreaded CFS, drinking alcohol before midnight sends me a bit lopsided, and the prospect of listening to live Irish music without a pint of Guinness would be unconscionably sacrilegious.

3) If anybody asks me whether I’ll be attending the ‘Age UK Roadshow,’ I might well drive my car over their feet at the first opportunity. ‘Wellness Shop with Lisa,’ on the other hand, sounds well good for a giggle. As it happens, however, they’re both Women’s Institute events, and I doubt they allow men into those. Not unless, that is, you happen to be a rare male of the species who can make jam and sing Jerusalem in a falsetto voice at the same time.

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