Avian Education.

While I was clearing the snow off the path I heard a conversation between two robins. One was obviously a mature parent bird, his companion one of this year’s fledglings. I heard the youngster say

‘What’s this white stuff, dad?’

‘It’s the vomit of Ughman Sickgrunty.’

‘Who?’

‘Ughman Sickgrunty. He’s a demon from the nether world, and his name means “fearsome food coverer” in Old Robin.’

‘Oh. So won’t we get any food ever again?’

‘Oh yes, ’course we will. As soon as old Ughman stops throwing up, the Benevolent Being Who Never Flies comes out and puts food down for us, so we can go home to roost with our tummies full. That’s him over there.’

‘Oh. Why doesn’t he ever fly?’

‘No wings, poor chap. I’ve heard it said that his race are born without them. Terrible shame, but life’s like that.’

‘Oh.’

The two birds went quiet for a while, turning to face the weak wintry sun that was showing the merest facsimile of its face low in the southern sky. And then the kid spoke again.

‘Why does he do it?’

‘Why does who do what?’

‘Why does the Elephant Being Who Never Flies put food down?’

‘Dunno, my boy. It’s his job, I suppose.’

‘Oh.’