I’m still wondering whether advanced self-awareness is a
good thing. I’ve always found that even in the midst of the most hotly engaging
emotions like passion, anger and jealousy, the observer is never far away,
always demanding to know why I’m doing this, or what I’m getting from that.
Sometimes it reproaches me, sometimes it congratulates me, sometimes it’s
impartial. It’s as though the consciousness is ever watching the person being
an actor on a stage. I wonder whether it’s a safety device to guard against the
weakness of total engagement. I wonder whether it might be an indicator of advanced spiritual awareness. But then, it might just be a scar left by a bullying, sociopathic stepfather.
Whatever the reason, some people seem to be entirely devoid of self-awareness. I
reckon they enjoy life more.
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