It was announced today that a rare skeleton of a woolly
mammoth has been unearthed about thirty miles east of Paris. The fact that the news of this
discovery was made public on the very day that Britain revealed the identity of
its new Archbishop of Canterbury is said to be purely coincidental. And on-site
American commentators have denied rumours that it’s actually the body of Donald
Trump, and that the man becoming hysterical back home is an impersonator. They
say the physical similarities are persuasive, but the animal's brain cavity has been
measured and found to be too big.
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