Night and Day.

Walking

I suppose the feature that most characterises night walks is that they’re so much more intimate than day walks. During the day you relate to the surroundings, and so you walk with the world. At night there’s little to see except the abstract black shapes of nearby objects. There’s little to relate to, and so at night you walk with yourself.

The sound of the wind in the trees was unusually soft tonight. At this time of year the dry leaves usually clatter, but tonight they sounded like the gentle exhale of breath in deep slumber.

Dreaming

The dream state might be a version of reality, but it's a much more subtle and unstable version. Night dreams are powerful things because when we’re asleep we live in them. Daydreams, on the other hand, are too ethereal and ephemeral to have much substance within the wakeful context. The perception of a daydream is little different than trying to catch the subtle whiff of a wild flower in a paint factory. Daydreams only become worth anything if and when they manifest in the waking version of reality.

It’s a problem I have with music at the moment. The music I most like always engenders waking dreams, and the dreams they engender are beyond waking manifestation now.

Feeling

Last night was a short one – 5½ hours from falling asleep to waking up again. Waking dragged itself forth accompanied by the usual grip of anxiety, and that soon descended into deep depression. It’s easing now.