... can sometimes make life tedious.
I’ve always been excessively self-aware, and I’ve come to
the theory that while both reason and emotion are functions of the mind, self-awareness
resides in some separate place that we might call consciousness. And when one’s
awareness of self is highly developed, mind and consciousness seem to split and
function independently.
This is most noticeable with regard to emotional states. Pleasure,
for example, is often subdued, because while the mind is experiencing it, the
consciousness is standing apart and observing the phenomenon dispassionately.
And that gives the whole thing a tone of experiment or academic exercise.
Negative emotions, on the other hand, like pain, depression and anxiety, can
produce two different results. Sometimes the ability to stand apart and observe
helps the mind to ride the emotions and cope with them. In other circumstances
conflict ensues, because the mind is too strongly affected to be influenced by any
rational argument from the consciousness, and the consciousness becomes
frustrated as a result.
All of which makes the consciousness resemble those
superior, floaty beings from the original Star Trek, and you may sympathise
with me for having to put up with them on an almost daily basis.
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