Explaining the Bad Blog.

I’ve decided I’d like to explain why my blog posts have descended to the level they have over the last few weeks. They’ve been awful, I know – melodramatic, self-obsessed and caught up with a one-track theme. Unfortunately, the explanation has to be largely allegorical simply because I don’t want to name names and make public the secrets of the innocent.

For about a year now there has been a bright light bringing colour, beauty and a sense of timelessness into my life. Everything was good until a few weeks ago when I was shown what I had always tried, successfully I might add, to ignore – that the light contained within it the demon I have always feared most. Being made aware of its presence released it.

I’ve fought this creature many times in my life with all the weapons I could muster – from the power of logic to emotional fortitude to the advice of a psychotherapist. Nothing ever had the slightest effect, and I’ve had to concede that I can never win because it’s simply too big and powerful. When it attacks it drags me to my knees and chokes the life out of me. It leaves me weak, nauseous and unable to function. On one occasion it came to within a whisker of killing me. It’s the only one capable of doing that and I know I can’t beat it. Seeing it again today provoked the writing of this post.

That’s a big confession for me to make public, but why not? Only one person who reads this blog knows me personally and he’s a good, open minded sort who probably won’t hold the knowledge against me. The rest must choose to stay or leave as they please, but at least the essence of the mystery is cleared up. Maybe I’ll even be able bring things back to normal soon, now that it’s off my chest.