Why is it that Helen is the only person who gets anywhere close to understanding what makes me tick? Helen isn’t even a Romantic in the usual sense of the word. A truth seeker and highly spiritual, yes, but not actually a Romantic. Why is the Romantic, with all the idealism and perception of darkness that the proclivity brings with it, such a mystery to the world?
What I don’t understand is why even those who are, themselves, inclined towards a Romantic disposition – or claim to be – find it so impossible to understand what can send a person to the heights of elation or the depths of a slimy, smelly, filth-ridden midden. And how awful is it that when I’m driven to explain it to somebody, it’s already too late.
This is getting on my nerves. I’m tired of the waking nightmares, but I can’t stop being a Romantic and I can’t stop loving the very, very small number of people who have taken root in my heart.
This is probably the most self-indulgent post ever. So indulge me. Who else is there to talk to except this bit of cyberspace?
Please don’t comment on this. It’s just a rant. And I’ve had enough of being misunderstood for one day. I’ve had enough scotch, too, and the priestess is persuading me to an early grave.
It would be so much easier to be normal. I’ve noticed that people are prepared to take and enjoy whatever the abnormals have to offer, while still mocking the affliction that produces it. Such is life, I suppose.
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5 comments:
okay i'll be obedient for once and respect your right to ask for no comments...so i'll tell you about myyyyy day...lol actually i won't cos i'm way too tired and need to head to bed! will write you back when i feel like it...PEN PALLY! lol
Z
Hello, I realize you did request no comments on this post but since I have 'visited' your blog several times in the past, thought I would venture out and ask both a question and make a suggestion... Have you ever heard of a personality type (and a book devoted to the type) called The Highly Sensitive Personality? If not, I would recommend finding a copy of the book and/or going to the website hosted by the author , Elaine Aron.(the book is best though) HSP's tend to often be creative i.e. writers, artists, dancers ect. There are real physiological reasons why they respond, think, and feel as they do as they are perceiving the world in a very different way than the rest of the population ~their level of awareness is greater to begin with. They only make up a small percentage of the population and hence , they often feel like they hail from another planet .( I have felt this way almost all my life) It becomes easier to understand why it is often difficult to relate to, understand or be understood by anyone not of this type. I know first hand about it as am one myself and as you call yourself , a lifelong 'romantic'. The book can give you some real insight into the underlying sources of your feelings and responses and also some tools for dealing more effectively with the rest of the world. Hope this might answer some of your deeper questions . There are certainly others out there like yourself, just not easy to find ,as there simply as not as many of them to begin with. Anyway, I wish you much luck and hope by posting now I have not been too intrusive .
ZZ, your brand of nutiness is probably just what I need at the moment. But I need you here. I need somebody HERE! Still no chance of you risking meltdown by coming, I suppose?
Valkrye: Please don't apologise. You honour me by taking the trouble to comment I saw from my e-mail notifications, BTW, that it took three attempts, so thanks for persevering.)
That's an interesting concept you have there and I'll certainly take a look at what Ms Aron has to say. My caveat is that I dislike the idea of being catagorised as having a 'condition,' but maybe I have. I'm always open to new ideas. Nice to find another member of the club, though.
Your link took me to a profile with no detail on it. Do you have a blog? It would be interesting to know more about you. Are you the visitor from San Antonio, by any chance? Your writing style is American.
P.S Sorry for my typing errors! Should have proof-read more thoroughly! V.
I looked at Elaine Aron's website, Valkrye. Much of it rang true and I'll probsbly make a post about it one of these days. Seems I have yet one more reason to be screwed up.
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