As a result of some late night correspondence last night, followed by a period of feeling unsettled, I didn’t get to bed until 3.45am. The sky is lightening appreciably by that time, and I’ve mentioned before that I dislike going to bed when it’s getting light. I thought about it today in an attempt to understand why it causes me a problem. What I came up with was this.
To me, going to bed isn’t simply laying down to rest. It’s much more than that; it’s a rite. Settling into bed and switching off the light is the point at which my subconscious mind says ‘Today is over. Now I enter the limbo state of sleep. Tomorrow will begin when I wake up.’ But I also consider the day to be partially over when darkness falls, and the new one to begin when daylight returns. And that’s where the conflict lies.
If I go to bed when it’s getting light, it means that the new day is beginning before I’ve accepted closure on the old one. They overlap, and that seems wrong; the rite is being negated. It also means that I’m being denied the ‘limbo’ element of sleep because the melding of the days has closed the limbo period, so I feel cheated of something. The opposite happens if I have to get up while it’s still dark, something I’ve always hated doing. In that case I’m being forced to function before the day has begun, which causes a sense of being outside time and therefore out of place.
I’m curious to know whether this is some form of neurosis or just a harmless foible.
3 comments:
I think it's normal that it feels wrong somewhere to go to bed at sunrise. Some things are in our nature and I think we're basically meant to sleep when it's dark, when the day is over. Maybe some would say your problem here is neurosis but then, our modern world with its hyper artifice causes many neurotic conditions. And understandably so. :)
Enjoying your book very much at the moment and will come back about it. Do you have a story in the anthology: Undiscovered: Tales of Exploration, Adventure & Excitement (Halls Brothers Entertainment Anthology)-? I came across the title on the internet.
Well if it is a neurosis, it's a minor one. It just irritates a bit.
The story I have in that anthology is Helping Jennifer, which you've already read. And The Thirteenth Tree is in Villainy, their next anthology. See, my friends get to read them FREE!! And I count you a friend, D, a rare good one. Hope you don't mind.
Thank you! Nice to find people across cyber space with the right values... maybe they're also a bit nearer, but it doesn't seem that way!
Post a Comment