Friday 17 December 2010

We or I.

This is a question to women everywhere, but especially American women.

One of the women whose blog I read has announced in her latest post that she’s expecting a baby. She does so by saying: ‘X (her partner) and I are expecting a baby.’ I don’t think I’ve ever heard a woman express it that way. I’m used to the simple statement ‘I’m pregnant.’

Clearly, one sees the event in terms of the partnership, while the other sees it in primarily self-oriented terms. So what I’m curious to know is whether the former is a common mode of expression in America. Is this a cultural difference between Americans and Brits? I could, of course, ask the woman in question, but I’m interested in having a more universal opinion.

7 comments:

KMcCafferty said...

I'd say it's split evenly. "I'm pregnant" seems to be more straight to the point. "I'm going to have a baby" is another really common one.

JJ said...

It's the 'we' that interests me, though. Unusually inclusive, in my experience.

Della said...

I remember saying "I" and not "we" for this and I'm American although I had my children while living in Holland if that matters. The woman who said this might either be formal or conservative or simply old-fashioned in this way – I don't think it's a typical Americanism. It brings to mind the old way of addressing a married woman, "Mrs John Smith," which isn't done anymore (thank goodness). On the other hand, is she from the midwest? I hail from New York where people tend to be informal and slapdash in their speech, so it's difficult for me to say what American is.

JJ said...

Thank you Della. I found it quite startling, and a little refreshing, that a woman should identify the pregnancy as a partnership event rather than a personal one. I don't know whether where she lives is classed as the midwest or not, but it's a long way west of NY.

I hear Germany's getting a bit of snow at the moment. Hope you're OK. It's back here, too, but not as bad as last time - yet.

Della said...

Lots of snow, actually, and Pepper the dog is a little spooked by it all, which doesn't help the pulling thing when we're out. Fine if you're in the woods, but not along the city streets :( Otherwise, we're fine, getting along in a cold winter and hoping it will wear itself out as suddenly as it came, and not linger. Won't spring be so much more glorious then?

Wendy said...

When I had my son way back when, I'd say "I'm pregnant" but if I had a child now (which would only happen if it was an immaculate conception) I'd say, "We're pregnant." I mean it takes two to tango right? And also I think it's a nice way of including your partner (even if it's a GLBT couple) in the whole process emotionally. And you have heard of sympathetic pregnancy, right?

JJ said...

Spring for me is tinged with uncertainty, Della. New neighbours!

I've heard of sympathetic pregnancy, Wendy, but I can't say I understand it. My loss, I suppose. That sort of closeness doesn't come easily to me. I've always related better to dogs.