It’s interesting to think that, since it takes time for
signals to pass along the nervous system, any physical sensation we have is already
history by the time we perceive it. I suppose that’s why I’ve always had a
problem fully enjoying things. I’ve always been prey to some vague but nagging awareness that
whatever happens to me has already gone. Oddly, this doesn’t apply to bad
experiences, only good ones. It’s why pleasure has always had a frustrating
undertone; it’s never been enough because it isn’t happening now.
Actually, I did have two transcendental experiences in my life that had
a satisfying timelessness about them. One I’ve already described on this blog,
the other I decline to make public. That’s what I want more of in the time I have
left.
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