More Random Bits.

Getting a bit of the old fatigue problem tonight. It makes you feel even more useless than usual – all over. So the following oddments will probably be tedious even by my standards.

When Helen read my Sonnet to Sarah, she mumbled ‘Poor girl. You ought to be careful, you know.’ And then the subject got changed, so I never did find out what she meant. That’s the good thing about ex’s who are also best friends and soul mates. They admonish fearlessly.

A group of scientists – yes, scientists – has conducted a study and concluded that a toast sandwich (a slice of toast between two slices of untoasted bread) is the cheapest possible meal. This raises questions, not the least of them being: where the hell do we get such people from, are they of any value whatsoever to society, and do they all live in Britain?

The problem with having three areas of stress at the same time is that they vie for attention. This causes fatigue and further stress, which is a bit ironic really.

When I was a kid, most of us didn’t have lights on our bikes. If we did, the rear light was a single one mounted on the rear fork. A cyclist came past me in Mill Lane this evening. He had a red static light on either side of the back wheel, a flashing red light on the back of the seat, and another flashing red light on the back of his helmet. Four in all: nice pattern. As he rode off into the gathering gloom, he looked as much like a Boeing 737 coming in to land as he did a bloke on a bike. I couldn’t see whether he had port and starboard lights on the ends of the handlebars.

I suppose it must be common knowledge by now that the left hand side of a ship used to be known as ‘larboard.’ Larboard and starboard. Unsurprisingly, orders were misheard and ships ended up going in the wrong direction – like downwards, for example – so they changed it to port and starboard instead. Pity they didn’t go the whole way and change it to port and sherry. ‘Hard a-sherry and bring your guns to bear, Mr Bosun,’ said in just the right tone of voice and with an appropriate flick of the wrist. Much more civilised.

Why do I bother?

Still, Enya is singing Smaointe very nicely. ‘Smaointe’ means thoughts or dreams, apparently. Most appropriate.