Friday 25 November 2011

Life, and Jokes Transparent and Opaque.

It isn’t only having a song going repeatedly through your mind that’s annoying. A joke can be almost as bad.

I watched part of the film Nowhere Boy tonight, a biopic about the early life of John Lennon. He went to Blackpool with his mother, and that set me thinking about the film Funny Bones, which is set mostly in Blackpool. As a result, I sat in the bath with my favourite joke from the film playing a seemingly endless loop:

Psychiatrist: Have you lived in Blackpool all your life?

Patient: Not yet.

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It wasn’t quite the only thing I thought about, though. I also gave some consideration to the size, placing and design of my prospective LIFE tattoo. I would like my two arms to match, you see. It isn’t so much a matter of symmetry as balance. The only unresolved issue was the question of what colour the bagel should be.

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I really am imbibing a Class A substance tonight.

No, I’m not. That was a lie. I’m actually drinking lager that says on the can:

A refreshingly clean lager with fruit and hop notes.

You wouldn’t think lager could have fruit and hop notes, would you?

Soon be time to open my £13 litre bottle of Bells. Believe me, that’s cheap.

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Life is being nice to me at the moment. Does it show?

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