I swear if I live to be a hundred I’ll never stop learning. Let me tell you something.
All my life I’ve held certain attitudes and opinions on a matter of great import to me, and I’ve always pushed them away. Why? Because they were inconvenient, they didn’t fit in with the received attitudes and opinions of the time, they caused problems for me and other people, and most of all because I believed them to be the result of outdated and essentially wrong cultural conditioning.
Suddenly I’m comfortable with them. I see them now as my truth; they’ve always been my truth. Oddly enough, I never hid them from the people I was close to, but now I can stop hiding them from myself. I can stop pretending to be somebody I’m not.
That’s a good feeling, if for no other reason than it removes a source of conflict. It explains a lot of what’s been going on lately. And I suppose it also means I haven’t given up on myself. Well, mad people don’t, do they?
2 comments:
Interesting. I'm glad you can accept that part of yourself now.
To know that you were right for the right reasons and not for the wrong ones is very settling, Maria.
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