Ashbourne 28/8.

I went shopping on Tuesday instead of Wednesday this week. That’s because we were promised – and duly received – a dry day today, whereas tomorrow is likely to be very wet. I still have the windscreen wiper problem, you see. Once I switch them on, I have no idea what they’re going to do, so it’s better to go out when they won’t be needed. Not a good state of affairs, I know, but Nigel the Mechanic will be on holiday for another two weeks yet.

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The fruit shop man’s daughter got my discourse on the declining GCSE results. I finally found a reasonably succinct way of summing up the problem: ‘We’ve made a god of education and now it’s turning into a monster.’ She didn’t disagree. I also complained that they only had large and small onions, and I wanted a medium sized one. She said ‘Oh.’

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I indulged myself with a tray of chips again, and sat on a bench outside the supermarket to eat them. There are four benches outside Ashbourne Sainsbury’s, each one capable of accommodating three reasonably sized people. There was a woman sitting on the far left one, so I went and sat on the far right one. (That’s what we British generally do.) The middle two were unoccupied. So there I was, picking out the hard little chips first and saving the big fat ones till last, when this old bloke comes and sits next to me and starts talking trivia. Why me? I mostly ignored him, offering the odd word of one syllable in reply until he went away. And then I felt guilty. Maybe he was lonely, I thought. ‘Never mind lonely,’ says my brain cell. ‘Lonely be buggered! You don’t go and interrupt a chap when he’s eating his chips, do you? It isn’t polite.’ I agreed with my brain cell and continued eating my lunch with a clear conscience. And I mused on the fact that old people might smell funny and get in the way, but they are at least usually polite.

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The two fiddling sister were fiddling outside Boots the Chemist again. Blue Grass, this time. The pretty one smiled at me as usual, and the not-quite-so-pretty one didn’t, as usual. So God’s in his heaven and all’s right with the world. And I managed to give them some money this week before they disappeared to do whatever fiddling sisters do when they’re not fiddling.

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The ice cream van was there again, but there was no one in attendance. That wasn't a problem since I wouldn’t have bought one anyway. I’ll buy another ice cream when there’s a big sign on the window saying Sale: Ice Cream: 50% Off.

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On the way home I called in at the doctor’s to make an appointment to have my shoulder pain brought under medical supervision. It woke me up again last night. (Actually, it was about ten past nine this morning, which I know isn’t ‘last night’ to most people, but it is to me.)