Alternative Responses.

OK, here’s the scenario:

You feel that somebody isn’t giving you the level of respect and attention that your relationship would appear to warrant. In fact, she’s falling so far short that you decide an issue must be made of it. So that’s what you do. You write to her and state your case in polite, friendly and respectful terms. You suggest a way forward and throw the matter open for discussion, but no discussion ensues. She doesn’t reply at all; she simply cuts you off completely without a word of any kind.

So how do you respond? The normal response would be to feel aggrieved, to see it in terms of her being odd, unfair, selfish, or whatever. But there’s an alternative response available. You can, instead, take it as a sign that there’s something fundamental about her which you’re failing to understand.

That’s the more positive response, since it shifts the focus back to you and avoids the common temptation to lay blame at someone else’s door. It’s the more mature response, since it enables you to take responsibility. And it’s the more compassionate and humane response.

And yet there’s something cold and analytical about it. It almost smells of the psychoanalyst’s couch. It doesn’t quite suit the passionate, impulsive nature.

Life’s rarely easy. I think I’ve said that before.