The best of ads has appeared on my Hotmail home page. It’s from some company called MYA, which promises to make you more beautiful – for a pretty beautiful fee, I expect.
It’s fronted by a woman called Maria Fowler, who I’ve never heard of but is apparently one of the stars (stars?) of a crass TV programme we have in Britain called The Only Way is Essex. I’ve never watched it so I speak from an admitted position of ignorance, but a trailer I saw once suggests it’s one of those I-must-jump-into-the-nearest-lake-to-get-away-from-this-and-I-don’t-care-if-I-drown sort of programmes. It appears to be seeking to vindicate the Essex girl ethos and have us all gagging to be right down there among them.
(The classic Essex girl joke:
What do you call an Essex girl with only half a brain?
So, right then, there’s this ad, which offers – among other things – such services as:
They’re making it up, aren’t they? They’re taking the piss, right? They don’t really believe there’s any such thing as an Essex girl, do they? Well, maybe they do, because I can’t imagine any other version of the human animal being taken in by it.