Thursday, 9 February 2012

The Alternative.

Following on from the last post, it struck me that there might be a trend to be set in alternative Valentine’s Day cards. The standard verses are always so sweet, sickly and unimaginative, so I wonder whether the marketing men might like the odd punk version, just for the Essex girls. Here’s the first one that comes to mind:

Penelope, you ugly whore
You’re such a trollop, such a bore
I’d like to get you on the floor
And squeeze you ’till you breathe no more

I should add that the reason I chose the name Penelope was because I’ve never in my whole life known one. And, anyway, it just came to me.

And while I’m on the subject of Essex girls, this is very funny:


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