Shunning My Own Trumpet.

It seemed like a good thing to do at the time – join an internet organisation that purportedly exists to help publicise individuals’ books. They’ve already got my novel listed on their site, although how they came by it I have no idea.

I just got their welcome e-mail with a tutorial on how best to utilise their facility. It should be entitled ‘Ten Short Steps to Becoming an Ego-Maniac.’ No doubt they would call it self-publicity. One of the things they want me to do is engage with discussion groups. No thanks. I’ve done that before, several times, and I found that most of the people who made up such groups were ego-ridden, juvenile, pretentious, obsequious, self-congratulatory, and easily roused to unmerited hostility. In writing, as in many things, I’m a loner. So was Emily Bronte. OK?

They want me to do lots of other things as well, like inviting people to talk to me about my book.  What? ‘Excuse me, I’ve written a book. No doubt you’d like to talk to me about it.’ That has to be step number one in becoming an ego-maniac. And they want me to give them my ‘monthly marketing budget.’ Marketing budget? *falls off chair*

Best of all, though, they tell me they’ll help me to ‘grow as a writer.’ I don’t want to grow as a writer, even if I had the slightest faith in their ability to help me. I had some stories to tell, so I told them. Maybe I’ll tell some more one of these days. That’s it. Simple. I don’t do all that ‘I must grow as a such-and-such’ stuff. I do what my little brain recommends me to do; and when I get tired of doing it, I stop and do something else. It’s how I’ve been all my life, and along the way I’ve gathered a bit of experience. That doesn’t seem such a bad thing, since experience is all you can take with you when you go.

No doubt this post should have been entitled ‘One Short Step to Being Forever Unsuccessful.’