If you can look into
the seeds of time,
And say which grain
will grow and which will not...
I’ve often said that there’s a quotation from Macbeth to
cover nearly every situation, and this one will do nicely for me at the moment.
It’s about how my life is. So many possibilities, but nothing certain, nothing
settled, nothing established. Things develop and then fall away again; things
appear to be going in one direction and then change course; things are static
for a while and then shift position.
This can be frustrating and unsettling at times, but it has
a certain energy about it. It’s largely a reactive position, rather like being
at the plate in baseball or the crease in cricket, constantly waiting for the
next ball and deciding how to play it.
But it brings up the old question. Where does one strike a
balance between being settled and in control on the one hand, and needing the
thrill of the unpredictable on the other? The problem is that both extremes are
tiresome in their own way. Being at sea in a storm is dangerous, but so is
dying of thirst in the doldrums. At the moment the ever shifting wind is in
charge, and I don’t know which course the head is on.
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