A Little Existential Muse.

I’ve been musing this morning on a long post around the equation:

Stability + Routine = Stagnation

I know that I like having a stable base, I know that I even like having a certain amount of routine for when I can’t be bothered to explore, but it isn’t enough. Stagnation drives me to the laudanum or the opium den.

And so I mused and mused, and it became ever more complicated. Angles kept appearing that didn’t quite fit with any simple resolution. I asked ‘If one achieves Enlightenment, where does one go from there?’ The obvious answer to that question is ‘That’s the point at which I wouldn’t want to go on exploring. I’d be content.’ Would I? I don’t know. And it occurred to me that the Holy Grail isn’t anything tangible – palpable or otherwise – but a state of mind.

And that brought me full circle to what I’ve said before: that the ultimate goal of any individualised being is to cease being individual. No more separation, no more ownership, no more being either object or subject, no more first person pronouns. No more first person.

That made me a bit sad, so I stopped thinking about it. For now, I need to embrace life if she’ll let me. I think there are a few more revolutions of the wheel to experience yet, and I hope I’ll be able to enjoy them, even though that statement probably sums up the very essence of the entrapment. One day, no doubt, the light will go on and the bell will ping.

And so I didn’t write the long post around the equation.

Happy Christmas.