Getting a Life.

Three useful things I learned from the TV ads tonight:

1) If I drink the right wine, I’ll spend all my days swanning around exotic places with a good looking woman who dresses like a tart.

2) If I’m using the right mobile phone when I enter a lift in which the only other passenger is another good looking woman who also dresses like tart, she’ll contrive to stop the vehicle between floors and start taking my tie off. It’s anybody’s guess what will happen next, but I think I’m supposed to guess anyway.

3) If I were a good looking woman who happens to dress quite demurely in expensive clothes, and I was obviously quite well off because I was driving an expensive car, the one thing that would make my life complete would be the prospect of going to a dinner party at which all the food would be jam-packed with chemicals and come out of a jolly looking box.

It’s a wonderful world those ad men create, ain’t it? So full of truth, healthy aspirations and good values. I wonder how I might qualify to join in.