The Problem with Cronuts.

My major accomplishment today was learning what a cronut is. Or, to be more precise, I learned that ‘cronut’ is a portmanteau word derived from ‘croissant’ and ‘donut,’ and that it’s the appellation applied to a pastry confection invented in New York, but now ‘taking the world by storm.’

But of course, simply knowing the etymology doesn’t actually help much in understanding what it actually is. How much of it is croissant, and how much donut? One assumes that it’s sweeter than a croissant. In fact, being American, it probably has so much sugar stored within its fat little form that you’re liable to catch diabetes just by walking past a patisserie window displaying the dishy little delectables. And in all the pictures I saw, the delightful little creatures were covered in chocolate. What has chocolate to do with either croissants or donuts? Chocolate comes from trees, and finds the zenith of its appeal when stirred into boiling water and handed to you in a mug as you’re being drenched by ice-cold Atlantic spray while standing on the bridge wings of a Type 12 frigate in the middle of a Force 11 storm at 2 o'clock in the morning. I should know; I was there.

And there’s another problem. In Britain, we don’t have donuts; we have doughnuts. This would appear to suggest that we Mother Country types should be calling them ‘croughnuts.’ Only that looks as though it should be pronounced ‘cruffnuts,’ which doesn’t do much for their appeal.

Tomorrow I intend to go into a bake shop in Ashbourne and enquire as to the availability of cronuts. I think I might have some explaining to do.