The term ‘nervous breakdown’ or ‘mental breakdown’ has no
formal definition and is largely avoided by professionals. There is, however, a
perception among those not trained in the need for clinical precision that the
condition does exist, and I’m sure it does. The problem comes with knowing when
a breakdown has occurred or is occurring, since it isn’t something simply
identifiable like the flu or measles.
My view of it would be something along the lines of a state
of mind in which the sufferer is so overwhelmed by stress that he or she feels
lost and confused – trapped in a view of internal and external reality that has
lost cohesion and become menacing. At that point a sense of panic sets in and
the sufferer feels a desperate need to do something
to get out of the shackles, but hasn’t a clue where to turn. I define it that
way because I’ve been there often enough myself, and so I know what it feels
like. I’ve learned that it comes with the territory if you’re both highly
sensitive and cursed with the driving need to try and understand the nature of
existence.
Mel called me at 1.35 this morning in just such a state. It’s
why I didn’t make a late blog post. Fortunately, the couple of scotches I’d had
didn’t cloud the obvious ‘diagnosis’ of a mini nervous breakdown. We talked for
over an hour, and at the end of it she felt more settled and ready for a hot
drink and return to bed. (I had another scotch!)
My feeling is that there’s no simple solution to a nervous
breakdown, but the starting point must be to learn to connect with aspects of
external reality that are conducive to one’s nature. This is difficult for
people like Mel and me because we recognise the worthlessness of most of what
this culture offers by way of diversion, and even the natural world has its
limitations. There are spiritual traditions which claim that the way out is to
go inside and discover a deeper level of reality; they say that perceptions of external
reality are illusory and must be dropped. Well, OK, I’m not saying they’re
wrong, but I’m suggesting that such an approach is wholly suitable only for a small minority of spiritually advanced
beings. If you’re going to live entirely within yourself, you need to be damn
sure that what you’ll find there will be enough. Otherwise, you’re heading for
a nervous breakdown or two.
* * *
This morning’s rescue effort was simpler. I have an old
water butt at the bottom of my garden, and today I found a little vole trapped
inside it. Fortunately it has a leak so it doesn’t hold water, but the sides
are precipitous and the little guy obviously couldn’t get out.
I tried putting a piece of tree branch in there first, hoping
he would get the message and climb up it. When I checked a little while later,
he was still cowering against the side of the butt and looking less than happy.
Time to don some gloves and catch him, which I did and set him free.
It feels good to be useful occasionally.
4 comments:
I so agree with you about those spiritual traditions! Its kind of like how some people can handle drugs and some can't. Bad trips and what not. Most cultures now a days produce people who aren't suitable for existing wholly and solely within themselves.
I think most psychologists and psychiatrists refer to what we call nervous breakdowns as adjustment disorders. That's the 'medical' or 'official' term for them. Sometimes i think a severe panic attack is very close to the same thing. I once had a sever panic attack bordering on a nervous breakdown and ended up spending several days in the psych ward of a hospital. Not a good experience.
I'll be sending Mel some good vibes, hoping things work out well for her and she gets to feeling much better!
Oh, and the only reason i mentioned what happened to me is to explain why i believe there is a think line between certain pain/anxiety attacks and a breakdown. But i know that not all panic attacks are bordering on this line. Some just come out of the blue and others are stress induced.
Sorry... that is supposed to say panic/anxiety attacks. Haven't had my morning coffee yet and i've got a baby tugging at me :)
Oh, and thin* line. haha.
Just got my post-lunch coffee - still drinking the yummy, strong Italian stuff.
It's a blurry old subject, isn't it? I sometimes get anxious about things, as we all do, but sometimes I just feel anxious for no apparent reason. Maybe it's a subconscoius fear of going into a breakdown state. They're just different levels of experience that sensitive types have to put up with.
The general point, though, is that I used to go along with the 'dismiss all material reality as illusion' dogma, until I learned that it didn't work for me. I'm not ready for that yet. When I am, maybe I will, but I've come to think that it's an over-simplification anyway. I've come to the view that it isn't as simple as 'this isn't reality, that is.' Rather, I'm feeling that everything is 'real,' but that there are grades or levels of density, or some such.
I think the New Age movement is helping to move the human consciousness forward, but it's too riddled with people who want to over simplify things and/or make money out of it. I'm trying to be much more relaxed about the whole spiritual thing these days, just taking things as they come and handling them depending on how I feel.
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