To counter the dark time, I thought this up while I was
lying in the bath. If the shops can start Christmas early, so can I. Grab the
silliness while it’s there, I say.
Old Jim he is a-pining
For a pair of ladies
legs.
’Tis all he wants for
Christmas,
Just a pair of ladies
legs
He prays to all the
saints he knows,
He shouts, demands and
begs.
There’s nothing he
desires except
A pair of ladies legs
The aftershave and
booze can go
The way of all the
dregs.
They lack the poise
and promise of
A pair of ladies legs
The same goes for the
Christmas pud,
The cake and chocolate
eggs
They couldn’t hold a
candle to
A pair of ladies legs
So Santa, when you
come and spy
Two stockings hung on
pegs,
Please fill them up
with nothing but
A pair of ladies legs
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