Friday, 21 September 2012

The Elf Hierarchy.

I just went for a walk in the pouring rain, wearing my rain jacket with the hood up as you’d expect. The man from Bag Lane said ‘Ha ha ha! (He laughs a lot, does the man from Bag Lane.) You look like a blue elf with little green ears.’ And I said ‘I know. Neat, eh?’

‘That conversation never took place did it, JJ?’

‘It did, Ted, yeah.’

‘It didn’t, did it, JJ?’

‘It didn’t, no. I made it up.’

I did see the woman from Squashley Bank, though, the one taking a husky and a toilet brush for a walk. She looked like an elf, too, a red and white one. I said ‘hello,’ but she didn’t answer. Maybe red and white elves and blue elves don’t get on. Maybe it’s a class thing.

4 comments:

andrea kiss said...

Its because you mistook her for an elf... she's really a gnome.

Squashley Bank... sounds gnomish.

JJ said...

She doesn't look like a gnome. But then she doesn't look like an elf either. She looks like an ageing Spice Girl who's got a rich husband and become acceptable.

Anonymous said...

Ahhahahaha! Gross

JJ said...

I was drunk when I wrote it. And tired.