Tuesday, 4 September 2012

The Usefulness of Planks.

This afternoon I decided to stick two fingers up (or the second digit if you’re American) to my fatigue/joint pains/whatever-else-the-doctor-thinks-I-might-have problems. I decided to do some good hard labour in the garden, attempting to trim the higher and more inaccesible parts of my neighbour’s hedge which have so far resisted my efforts to find a way.

I went armed with the usual two hedge trimmers, loppers and ladder, but today’s stroke of genius was the addition of a wooden plank and some extra strong twine (don’t worry about the details.) It took four hours and reminded me of the entrance tests to get into the naval officer training college at Dartmouth. They involved wooden planks, too. Wooden planks provide endless opportunities to test a chap’s mettle, don’t you know – especially if you have to tie them to things.

So was I successful, you might ask. Mostly. And am I suffering for it now? Er… yeah. But only slightly.

4 comments:

KMcCafferty said...

Wooden planks. This instantly reminded me of an spealadóir. The chorus mentions a plank, and how if the singer had it (along with a few other things), all his work would be done by the middle of the day. Perhaps your theory of planks is right.

JJ said...

The wooden plank is a splendid thing. Anyone with a garden or building site to work on (the building site having been my second experience of its value after Dartmouth) should have at least three of different sizes. What's an spealadoir?

Wendy S. said...

Planks if they're the ones you're talking about is great to lie down on if you put them together to relieve pain in the body. They press upon your accupressure points and really help. Than again you could be talking about completely different planks so ignore my comment.

JJ said...

Ignore your comment, Wendy? Perish the thought.

As I understand the term, a plank is a piece of wood that is substantially longer than it is wide or thick. However - and this is the important distinction - it should also be rigid so as to provide a stable platform. If it was thin and springy, it would more likely be called a narrow board. Pirate's planks, for the walking of, might be an exception.