The Right Reason to Risk Losing.

Becoming true to your values, which mostly equate to your sense of rightness and right dealing, isn’t easy. You tend not to get what you want when you do that.

‘Ah, but you do, my boy,’ says the wise man in the wood. ‘That’s the highest form of honesty, and honesty is the road to self-respect. You can revel in your integrity. What more could you want?’

Er...

He’s right, though. Isn’t he?

I once heard somebody for whom I had a lot of respect say ‘You can never be wrong if you follow your heart.’ It seems to me that it’s only true if the heart is ruled by the conscience; so does that make conscience an emotion, or the gatekeeper to the emotions? Has to be the latter, surely.

I get irritated when my brain rambles like this. It tends to happen most when I’m anxious. So then the irritation adds itself to the anxiety, the vicious circle asserts itself, and the scotch bottle empties quicker.

I remember the RE teacher at school telling us that ‘Philosophers aren’t just ancient Greeks in white robes, you know. I expect some of you to become philosophers.’

‘Oh good,’ I thought. ‘I fancy being a philosopher.’ And that was in the days when I was still into boyish things like rugby and under-age drinking. You just can’t escape your bloody destiny, can you? And I wasn’t making due allowance for being a hopeless Romantic as well.

I’m still anxious. The prospect of the priestess’s appraisal is weighing heavy. Must try to be more philosophical. Scotch first.