I just realised something else about my latest ‘phase.’ I
used to think of myself, by and large, as a human being on a standard human
being’s life path. You go from infant to child to adolescent to young adult
etc, and at each stage you do the things that seem appropriate to that point –
things the culture expects of you and conditions you to expect of yourself.
I don’t think of myself like that any more. Now I see myself
as a different kind of being, something universal and timeless, something that
can do whatever it wants whether it’s culturally appropriate or not. It seems
to be a reason why I don’t want to play roles any longer. I can’t find any
appropriate ones for a universal and timeless being to play.
Problem though: in a physical sense I am a human being, and
there are things you can do and be when you’re young that you can’t do and be
when you’re older. That’s a bugger.
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