Observing the Connection.

My excellent acquaintance Maddie says that ‘the need for control occasionally prevents her from enjoying the spontaneity of life.’ Well, that got me thinking.

To some extent, I feel the need for control, too. In my case, though, it isn’t the only thing that prevents me from enjoying the spontaneity of life. A bigger factor is my need to observe.

The problem with, or value of, spontaneity is that it encourages unconditional connection with a person, situation, or whatever, unencumbered by external considerations. It’s like walking into a wood. You can see the detail in the nearest trees, but you can’t see the wood in the context of the surrounding landscape. I need to see both at the same time, and that inevitably dilutes the connection. On those occasions when I allow entirely spontaneous behaviour, I always feel in retrospect that I’ve missed something. I’ve let the bigger picture pass me by unnoticed. And that leads to a question:

Are the need for control and the need to observe two different psychological traits, or is the need for control a corollary of the need to observe?