Ashbourne Excelling Itself.

Ashbourne was more eventful than usual today: today was a day for men to do double takes at me. Three of them. It’s usually women, but today it was men, and one of them was smiling suspiciously. I asked myself some searching questions:

‘Am I talking to myself?’ No.

‘Do I have a large excrescence on the end of my nose?’ No.

‘Are my eyes rotating rapidly in opposite directions?’ No.

‘Do I look gay?’ I don’t think so.

Three of them. Why?

And then I came to within an inch of clashing trolleys twice with the same woman in Sainsbury’s. She’s the one who used to watch me a lot – I remember reporting the fact on this very blog – but doesn’t any more.

‘Nearly gotcha that time,’ she said.

‘You’re in my way, too,’ I replied, with just the right vocal tone to give the impression I might have been half joking. We’re good at that, we Saggis. She cackled.

No dog fixes though, unfortunately.

But I did get the DVD of the film Mel recommended: The Devil’s Backbone. I expect I’ll have something to say about it some time over the next week. And I got a new woolly hat with a fleece lining. It’s black.

Oh, and I also picked up a second hand copy of Dan Brown's The Da Vinci Code. The film didn't impress me much (apart from Audrey Tautou, whose every eye movement impresses me greatly) so I'm hoping the book will be better and discourage the propensity for falling asleep in front of the fire every evening. No doubt it's my body's way of compensating for the five hours I routinely get in bed these days, but I find it irritating.

Time for my tranquilisers. That's a joke.