Wednesday, 7 August 2013

Nicenesses and Strangenesses.

Since I have to go to Ashbourne tomorrow to see whether the hygiene therapist (!) can sort out my chipped tooth, I decided to go to Uttoxeter today for a change.

The walk up to the town from the free car park takes me by a small row of Georgian terraced houses, the end one of which has always intrigued me because it was always in a shabby condition, but had two big stone eagles standing either side of the front door. Today it looked much smarter: the doors and window frames had been freshly painted and the windows were clean. I soon discovered why: there was a For Sale notice on the wall. It included the words ‘Parking at rear,’ so I went down the alleyway to view it from the rear.

It felt so friendly, you know? Some houses have an atmosphere, and this one did – a friendly atmosphere. There was a yard with a parked car, a few shrubs, and some plants in big pots. It looked very well cared for and very welcoming. The back door was open, since it was a warm, sunny day, and a shaggy black dog walked out of it and smiled at me. I decided I’d like to buy it, only I don’t even have the money to afford a trip to New York at the moment so buying a house stands not within the prospect of belief. Besides, I doubt the dog would be included in the sale.

*  *  *

So then I bought myself a carton of chips for lunch (such a treat costs only £1.10 in Uttoxeter, whereas it’s £1.40 in Ashbourne. Too expensive. Nearly everything in Ashbourne is more expensive because it’s full of posh people.)

I sat on a low wall to eat them, and as I munched away contentedly in the sunshine a young woman of around twenty walked past with a baby. There was something odd about her, but I couldn’t work out what it was. Her legs looked strange, but I couldn’t work out why. Her dress also looked strange, even though I could find nothing identifiably strange about it. Her hair looked strange, her face looked strange, and even the manner of her walk looked strange. I just couldn’t work it out.

She walked past me three times, and on the third occasion she scowled at me as though I was the instrument of all her misfortune. I wonder why.

*  *  *

Supermarket next to get cheap porridge oats for the birds. I was browsing the beers, comparing prices with my usual supermarket, when I came across an ordinary bitter which carried the tag line:

Great with fish.

Great with fish? Whoever heard of an English bitter beer being great with fish? Crisps and salted peanuts, yes, but fish? Ridiculous. But then I wondered whether ‘great with fish’ was being used in the same sense as ‘big with child,’ which would be even weirder, and yet no less believable.

No comments: