Friday, 16 August 2013

All Knowledge is Here.

I’ve always been curious to know just what the difference is between a gnat and a midge, and how these two relate to the mosquito. Tonight I finally got around to taking the Route to all Knowledge in the 21st Century:

I googled ‘difference between a gnat and a midge.’

What I was hoping to find was some genuine expert on the subject who could answer the question in layman’s terms. What I actually found were a large number of forums containing a lot of lamentable English, a number of self-styled experts who trotted out strings of scientific names but didn’t actually answer the question, and a majority of contributors who shrugged their shoulders and said things like ‘as far as I’m concerned, it’s a just a matter of size, but I’m no expert.’ Quite.

In the end I came to the conclusion that ‘gnat’ and ‘midge’ are interchangeable generic terms for a whole load of small, flying insects, some of which bite and some of which don’t, and that the mosquito is a type of such insect that lives in warm, wet places (no sniggering!) Oh, and the mosquito is the only one whose bite is capable of causing a fever.

OK, now I’m as expert as everybody else.

I might just add that my favourite of all the answers given was:

‘One is vertically challenged, one bites and the other one is an aeroplane.’

He very nearly got my vote.

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