Tuesday 29 March 2011

Avoiding an Essay on Togetherness.

Just to pick up on something I said in an earlier post and in a bit of correspondence with Andrea. I said that I wish I could do the togetherness thing, but I can’t. True, but it doesn’t mean I can’t get close to people, and I have no difficulty being loyal in a general sense. It isn’t closeness or loyalty or connection that I have difficulty with, but the concept of togetherness. The very word ‘together’ sounds alien to me. It frightens me because it feels like entrapment, and I have a terrible fear of being confined. It also smacks of compromise and the willing conveyance of some part of my being into the hands of another. They don’t sit easily with me either.

I could go on and on about this, taking in issues like commitment phobia, emotional immaturity, the axioms of social structure, the value of a divergent gene pool, and even the practice of raiding the neighbouring tribes to carry off their women.

But it would become tedious and I can’t be bothered. Let’s just say that eschewing togetherness has its pros and cons, and there are times when the cons have the upper hand. Even a confirmed commitmentphobe like me sometimes feels the want of practical or psychological support quite keenly.

So there you have it, briefly. Maybe I’ll be different next time. Hope so, because I’ve entered into a couple of rash undertakings for the next life.

2 comments:

Anthropomorphica said...

Eek, I'm with you on that Jeff. Togetherness is easiest and most comfortable with my dog. Doesn't bode well for my partner does it!

JJ said...

I think that's because dogs are true companions, Mel, whereas partners expect a stake. I've been guilty of that. I consider it one of my worst faults.