Wednesday, 17 June 2015

Swearing by the Superstition.

1600: I was doing about 60 on the main road out of Ashbourne, just building up a head of steam sufficient to overtake people on the upcoming steep hill, when somebody pulled across the road in front of me. The brakes worked, but I uttered the odd involuntary expletive anyway.

1605: I was doing about 50 on the narrower road that leads from the main road to the village when another idiot came around an upcoming bend with his offside wheels substantially over the centre line – and he wasn’t making much of an effort to move over. I managed to get close enough to the edge of the road to miss him without putting a wheel of my own into a ditch, which would have occasioned a little inconvenience. Involuntary expletives began to take on the nature of a habit.

1630: I was checking my unloaded shopping against the till receipt when I discovered that I’d been overcharged in Sainsbury’s. The barcode reader had evidently read one item twice. It was only £1, but it’s the principle you know? It is. (I think I remember muttering another expletive or two.)

1640: I was taking one of the bags of bird seed out of the carrier bag when the plastic seal opened and bird seed was scattered across a large part of the kitchen floor. A few expletives? Yup.

1800: Run the vacuum cleaner around before starting dinner. I was pulling the cable out of the back of the machine when the plug flew sharply to one side and gave the top joint of my thumb a very painful whack. Expletives? More even than was becoming usual.

Isn’t it odd that things always happen in fives?

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