I think of this as classic Liverpool humour.
An elderly lady was standing naked in front of the floor-length mirror in her bedroom. Her equally elderly husband was sitting in bed, eating a jam butty. She sighed and said
‘Look at me. Hair falling out, bags under my eyes, loose flesh around my face, sagging breasts, a spare tyre around my waist, thighs riddled with cellulite, varicose veins, flat feet...’
She looked wistfully at her husband.
‘Can you think of anything at all good to say about me?’
Her husband looked up from the Daily Star and eyed her pale form.
‘Er... yeah,’ he said.
‘What?’
‘There’s nutt’n wrong with yer eyesight.’
And before anybody accuses me of being cruel, let me just say that I avoid my bathroom mirror when I’m preparing to take a bath. On the odd occasion that it’s unavoidable, I know just how she feels.
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...until death do re-unite or the Priestess return to Avalon.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts, for they have their own thoughts. You may house their bodies but not their souls, for their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you. For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
The moving finger writes and, having writ, moves on. Nor all your piety nor wit shall lure it back to cancel half a line, nor all your tears wash out a word of it.
There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man. True nobility lies in being superior to your former self .
This character appears in one of my short stories, and also in the novel. He's sadder than he looks, poor thing.
About Me
- JJ
- Ashbourne, Derbyshire, United Kingdom
- I've never had money because I've never been driven by money. I received little formal education beyond the age of sixteen, which isn't such a bad thing since you get a different angle on life that way. Learning what you want and need to learn often reveals things that the system's road keeps hidden.
BOOKS
Anyone interested in viewing the availablity of my novel Odyssey or novella The Gift Horse can do so here.
To Be Retained...
...until death do re-unite or the Priestess return to Avalon.
Khalil Gibran on Children.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts, for they have their own thoughts. You may house their bodies but not their souls, for their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you. For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
OMAR KAYYAM ON REGRET.
The moving finger writes and, having writ, moves on. Nor all your piety nor wit shall lure it back to cancel half a line, nor all your tears wash out a word of it.
Herman Hess on Nobility
There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man. True nobility lies in being superior to your former self .
Free Fiction
I have another blog called A Handful of Stories on which I've posted some of my short fiction. Most of it has been published by a variety of independent small press publishers, so somebody other than me must have thought it worth reading.
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All the permanent pictures and some of the posted ones on this blog are my copyright. Most of them, however, are placed with a picture library which holds the licensing rights. I don't, therefore, have the legal right to grant permission to use them.
An Inhabitant of the Hungry Ghost Realm
This character appears in one of my short stories, and also in the novel. He's sadder than he looks, poor thing.
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When everything that is illusion is removed, all that remains is consciousness.
4 comments:
Haha, that's so mean!
I'd say all that is much better than getting plastic surgery to look like you're young though. People who try too hard to look younger freak me out. (cough cough, Dolly Parton?)
You're absolutely right, Maria. Beauty comes from within. I find it weird how people spend all that money trying to defy nature, and usually end up looking like animated corpses. Grey is Good! (cough, cough, trying to make myself feel better.)
Who said romance is dead ;)
Certainly not me, Mel. Vive la Difference! (le?)
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