Are they kidding me? Seriously. Are they? Why would they
think that anyone in possession of a brain cell would want such a thing? And
why would they think that I would have any truck whatsoever with subscription
TV as long as the BBC manages to hold off the Tory wolves? And why, pray, would
British Telecom of all the dubious corporations on planet Earth be giving away
this tiny fragment of reject candyfloss? The answer was in the next paragraph:
They’re raising my line rental fee from September, and by an
amount way above inflation, of course. And can you believe that this came on
the very day when I was already seething with anger and frustration at other money-grabbing
excesses perpetrated by the unscrupulous Nazis at British Telecom? Everything I
ever encounter regarding British Telecom is bad, and every time I have to have
any sort of dealings with them I’m left seething with anger and frustration. I
don’t understand why the regulator hasn’t found a way to put them out of
business because they’re terrible people. I can’t describe how much I hate the
bastards.
Or can I? Let’s see…
I’m not a vindictive person – really I’m not – but when the
revolution comes and I get the job of sitting on the judge’s bench, the brutal excesses
of Islamic State will pale beside the fate I shall feel inclined to bestow on
the executives of British bloody Telecom. I read recently that two of
Countess Bathory’s accomplices were sentenced to have their finger pulled off their
hands with red hot pincers before they were burned to death. If I’m either in a
good mood or bored the day the BT bully boys stand before me, they might get
away with something as lenient as that. If, on the other hand, I’m feeling imaginative…
Is that description enough?
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