I’ve never been very keen on the ‘what’s in it for me?’
mentality. Central to my philosophy has always been that giving should be done
for its own sake with no presumption of reward. And yet I find exceptions to
this in my own attitudes.
If I’m asked to do something I really dislike doing, for example, I tend
to expect some recompense – and doubly so if I’m ordered to do it. On the other hand, if somebody gives me something, I feel inclined to return
the favour in order to ‘balance the books.’ And if I’m in a situation where I’m
endlessly giving of my time or emotional commitment and getting nothing in
return, I admit to coming eventually to a sense of being drained.
So how does one reconcile the apparent dichotomy? In two
ways, I would say.
Firstly, by recognising that the very act of giving can be
pleasurable in itself, especially if it’s in an area close to our hearts. It’s
why people do voluntary work. Making a contribution to something we believe in
is one of life’s enriching experiences.
But then there’s the bigger picture.
Looking back over my life, I can see many ways in which I’ve been given things
without any return on my part. So surely, this balances the times when I’ve
given without receiving recompense. I have received it, it’s just that it came
from a different quarter.
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