Thursday, 31 May 2012

Advertising for the Connoisseur

I’ve finally found a series of internet ads I like:

Mature dating sites.

They’re very funny and most informative. All the ones I’ve seen so far have shown pictures of women aiming to please the mature gentleman (!) and the basic rules seem to be:

1) Make sure there’s no room for doubt that your hair has been dyed that colour.

2) Wear revealing clothes that... well... reveal those physical aspects that you wouldn’t expect most mature people to want to reveal (especially when they look like that.)

3) Cultivate the look that says ‘One day, big boy, this – let’s call it a ‘body’ – can be all yours, and then you’ll know what happiness really is.’

4) Have the picture taken in an exotic location, ‘exotic’ being defined as ‘a bar in some part of Spain where the tequila is particularly cheap and the pot plants are properly plastic.’

I think I might join.

8 comments:

Orphin Lasz said...

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA


...but, even if you're joking, don't join those sites, Mr. Beazley..!
; A ;

No,no,no,no,no!

JJ Beazley said...

Rest assured, Orphin, people like me DO NOT JOIN dating sites, especially those that think attractiveness is all about how much flesh (old or young) you flaunt. No.

And it's very nice to see you. I check on your blog most days, but you've been notably absent lately. Hope you're OK.

Anthropomorphica said...

I dare you!

JJ Beazley said...

May I quote Macbeth, please?

'I dare do all that may become a man. Who dares do more is none.'

So bog off!

Anthropomorphica said...

JEFFREY BEAZLEY, BOG OFF? WHAT A CRIATURA YOU ARE!!!
But isn't it tempting?

JJ Beazley said...

No, it isn't tempting! I have an absolute terror of being cornered by the Wrong Sort of Woman! Seriously! I have!

Anthropomorphica said...

This give me all kinds of giggles. I'm thinking Hyacinth Bucket combined with Vera Duckworth ;)

JJ Beazley said...

Both wearing basques and suspenders!! I just trembled.