What I was looking for was some guidance on the technology and techniques required for getting something out of a head and onto a YouTube channel, but they skipped all that and went straight into the important stuff. The first thing I read was ‘How to grow your fan base.’
Fan base? That’s what it said. Fan base... Mmm… It would be hard to explain in a few words why that term encourages in me a state bordering on apoplexy, so I won’t bother. It just does. And it soon became apparent that the image they had in mind of the average vlogger was a thirteen-year-old egomaniac who was low on intelligence and just about bereft of talent, but who wanted a quick and easy way to get famous, albeit artificially. (Come to think of it, a lot of the people who really are famous these days are also bereft of talent, but that’s beside the point.)
And then it went on to ask questions like ‘Are you the right sort of person to vlog?’ and ‘Why do you want to vlog?’ The answer to the first was simple: ‘I have no idea.’ The problem came with the second. The only one I could come up with was ‘Because I’ve never done it.’ Seems it isn’t enough.
Clearly I’m not qualified, so I decided to give it a miss. Besides, I doubt I could afford the camera, especially since it would probably break the first time I smiled.