Monday, 4 March 2013

Wondering about MJ.

Since we seem to be living in an age when there’s a euphemism for everything, I wonder whether it would be appropriate to refer to constipated people as ‘motionless.’

I don’t know where that one came from – one of Mad Jeffrey’s dreams, I expect. I haven’t seen him for months. I do hope he’s still only sleeping, and it isn’t anything more serious.

And talking of euphemisms, I don’t remember whether I ever related this little anecdote from the mists of an uneventful past:

When I was working for the Prison Department, there was an article in some Home Office magazine about a man on trial for ‘exposing his person.’ The point of the article was to discuss the legal definition of ‘person,’ and at the same time there was a notice in the prison gatehouse which read:

Staff must ensure that keys are attached to their person at all times.

I’m sure it wasn’t a joke. As far as I recall, there was nobody working there with such a sophisticated sense of humour. Except me, and I didn’t do it, guv’nor.

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