Tuesday, 26 March 2013

Led by Donkeys.

Let’s have a little allegory on the state of government in Britain these days.

An army officer is leading his platoon out on patrol. He’s one of the old school, the sort Napoleon was referring to when he described the British Army as ‘lions led by donkeys.’ This man is a donkey of the first order. He’s the sort who still thinks that warfare is a bit like a fox hunt only noisier, and that peasants are there to be pawns by definition. He really shouldn’t be in charge of a modern army.

They see a discarded hammer lying on the track in front of them.

‘What’s that, sergeant?’ asks the officer. ‘That wooden thing with a piece of metal on the end?’

‘It’s a hammer, sir.’

‘What’s it for?’

‘Mostly banging nails into wood, sir.’

‘Banging is it, by Jove? Well it can bang off. We don’t want such things here. It makes the place look untidy and somebody is bound to trip over it, thus impeding our progress. It must be destroyed immediately. I know, I’ll bang it against my head and that will break this hammer johnny into little pieces, won’t it?’

‘Er, no sir.’

‘Why ever not?’

‘Well, hammers are quite tough things, sir. I should know; I used to be a carpenter in civvy street. The hammer won’t suffer any damage at all, sir; you will.’

‘Nonsense, man. We must have firm resolve and push through with these difficult decisions. You’ll see I’m right in the end. Here goes, then. Bang. My God, sir, that hurt. Whoever would have thought it? Never mind. We’ll learn from experience and press on regardless.’

You know, I doubt there’s a single member of Cameron’s cabinet who has a clue how to relate cause with effect when it comes to social issues. They don’t know how society works, and they really shouldn’t be in charge of a modern country. When the proverbial hits the fan over their idiotic changes to Housing Benefit rules, remember you read it here first.

3 comments:

Anthropomorphica said...

They could do with a bit of hammer on head though, might not some sense into the buggers or at least do away with them...

Anthropomorphica said...

Or even might "knock". I'd obviously decided somewhere that there was no hope of sense being knocked in. Oh well, might as well do away with them then :)

JJ Beazley said...

Problem is, would the alternative be very much better? I don't have much faith in any of them. And you never know, we might get Boris Johnson at the help. We can have a laugh on the way down.