Thursday, 21 March 2013

No Longer the Apple Tree Type.

Quoting myself:

‘I always tell the truth at that time of night.’

Actually, I generally tell the truth at all times, but I’m a little less strict than I used to be. It seems a little paradoxical that I’ve always been a very good liar, but also a very reluctant one in the vast majority of circumstances. I even went through a phase in my life when I was a paid up member of the George Washington I-cannot-tell-a-lie brigade, but let’s put it this way:

Suppose you’re Robin Hood’s best friend, and the only person to witness him robbing Sir Filbert of Fotheringhay and giving the money to some near-starving folks scraping a paltry existence in a hovel. You get brought up before the Sherriff, who asks ‘Did you see Mr Hood robbing Sir Filbert?’ You’d have to be a bit of a turd to say ‘yes,’ wouldn’t you?

So when I hear people declaring ‘I never lie,’ I don’t believe them. Not even when it’s me declaring it. Which is why I never do...


Anonymous said...

Good to know.

I'm an awful liar, but I've made a concerted effort to better my skills. Sounds counterintuitive, right?

JJ Beazley said...

The trick is to convince yourself that what you're saying is true. (It probably helps to have a psychiatric condition.)

'Counterintuitive' sounds like one of those words invented by clever Americans. I assume it means acting against type.

Feel free to bash the Brits, by the way, any time you like. I trust you now.

Just me said...

Many "experts" say that it is hard to not be caught telling a lie because we usually only lie when we are afraid and it is the fear that shows up on our face or body posture.

My response to the Sheriff would be, "Mr. Hood? Was he here? OMG, I wanted to talk to him! If you see him again can you let me know!"

Then I would make Robin Hood buy me a pint of beer.

JJ Beazley said...

Let's hope Robin kept some of Sir Filbert's money to pay for the drinks.

Anonymous said...

Of all the people I can lie to, I am not one of them.

Bash the Brits? Nah, that ain't my thang. Even joking. I've met quite a few British people, and they were all very nice... though there was husband and wife pair that embodied the imperialist attitude frighteningly well. Came to this country to take advantage, you know?

I prefer to make fun of individuals, hah!

JJ Beazley said...

Well, any country run by Johnny Foreigner needs our help, so we go in and run their country for them and help ourselves to the booty. Seems fair enough to me.

Anonymous said...

Just taking up the white man's burden. But if these two are the best ye breed... *shudder*.

JJ Beazley said...

My landlord's brother is 82 and an ex army officer, so he remembers the time when the white man had broad shoulders. He complimented me about something once by saying 'I know your colour.' Not many people say that sort of thing these days.