Flow Pattern Man.

When we had the blizzard at the weekend, the wind was definitely blowing from the east. I know that for several reasons, not least the fact that the snow built up on the east-facing windows. So why do the hedgerows which run north-south at the top of the hill behind my house have drifts built on the west side? Must be something to do with flow patterns and how they relate to the lie of the land, I suppose.

I watched a TV science programme about flow patterns when I was a young man. I found it quite engrossing, believe it or not. Maybe I should have pursued my interest and made a career out of studying flow patterns. It could have been a real ice breaker at parties, couldn’t it?

‘What do you do for a living?’

‘I’m a flow pattern expert.’

‘What’s one of those?’

‘Somebody who understands the science of flow patterns.’

‘Oh.’