The Significance of Hats.

Somebody once said to me ‘Never trust a driver wearing a cloth cap.’ It’s true, isn’t it? There is something suspicious about both men and women who wear hats when they’re driving. It’s almost as bad as wearing a hat to the dinner table, though I’ve never worked out why.

And then there are those hats western women wear to weddings, which I’ve remarked upon before. It still beats me why women insist on looking so unfeminine when they go to weddings. Maybe it’s a way of saying ‘I’m spoken for, so it doesn’t matter how ridiculous I look.’ They always are, aren’t they? Spoken for. Except the one up front, of course, and she’s about to be claimed. Hey, ho.

And what about the military leaders, eh? What about them? It might be noted that Nelson and Napoleon wore their hats like this, whereas Wellington wore his hat like that. It must surely be no coincidence that both Nelson and Napoleon won lots of battles, but came to a sticky and premature end, while the Iron Duke lived to a ripe old age and probably died of gout or something.

(I wonder whether Miss Sarah still has her blue Paddington Bear hat. That one had style. A rarity.)