Boris would say that, of course, because Boris was one of the
candidates in the leadership contest who conveniently dropped out so that Mrs
Ratty could become Prime Minister without needing to be elected, and who were
subsequently rewarded with cabinet posts. Boris got the highly prestigious
Foreign Secretary’s job, at which point the politicians of Europe
were struck down with a serious case of the ague.
‘Boris Johnson? We have to deal with Boris Johnson?!!!’
And it caused a great deal of confusion as well as
disbelief:
‘Sacre bleu!’ snorted the Germans. ‘Gott im Himmel!’ wailed
the French…
… because, you see, Boris had never been thought of as a
proper politician. He was the clown on the political fringes who kept us all
amused with his antics and played the fall guy in TV panel games.
So what of George Osborne? He was Chancellor of the
Exchequer under his friend, David Cameron, so he has a bit of an axe to grind,
too. And he’s a Tory, which makes him a bit of a bad lot in my book. But he
does at least have a sharp brain between his ears, whereas the space between
Boris’s ears seems to be filled with the mouldering remnants of all that sticky
toffee pudding he no doubt filled the rest of himself with at Eton.
(Or was it roly-poly pudding, or maybe spotted dick? I’m told that such stodgy
fare is a great favourite among the privileged denizens of British public
schools.) So I think I’ll side with good old George in the civil war that is
currently rending Tory ranks (and long may it continue until both sides are
exhausted and they all fall over frothing at the mouth even more than usual.)
The best, however, is yet to come. One tabloid expressed the
wish that if there is to be a
leadership contest, Boris should throw his hat into the ring again and attempt
the feat of becoming Prime Minister. Heaven forbid that such an eventuality
could ever come to fruition. If it did, I think we’d all become dead people
walking.
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