Friday 21 February 2020

Terrible Troy.

I’m 54 minutes into watching the ‘epic’ movie Troy. The DVD case reports glowing tributes from journalists, but they’re all, as usual, tabloid journalists. Tabloid journalists never were connoisseurs of quality, so here’s my take on it:

The script is hackneyed to a point beyond predictability, being entirely based on a third rate version of grandiosity which is laughable.

The fight scenes are choreographed in a way that is hardly seamless. I grew increasingly credulous at the number of Trojan soldiers who stood there like unschooled extras (which maybe they were) just waiting for the Greek hero to kill them instead of at least trying to do something about it.

The direction might as well have been undertaken by an accountant from Slough. I know that isn’t an objective statement, but it’s how it looked.

The acting, well… The acting. Oh dear. The cream of British and Irish thespian talent strutting around like a bunch of enthusiastic high school kids doing the annual Shakespeare as well as they weren’t really able. Even the likes of Brendan Gleeson – one of my favourite actors – and Brian Cox looked hopelessly out of their depth amid such creative carnage. Only Brad Pitt and Sean Bean kept the walls from collapsing into obscurity.

The costumes were adequate and the scenery was nice.

Will I watch the rest? I don’t know yet, but probably not.

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