But it’s still a pressure because having someone possessed of feelings which you can’t reciprocate means that you know they’re hurting, and if you have even an ounce of sensitivity in you, it isn’t a nice thing to be saddled with. So what do you do?
If you ignore them the situation is likely to continue unabated for some unknown length of time. If you react harshly and tell them to go away, it’s likely they will feel worse. If you’re attentive and pleasant they will be happier for a while, but their hopes will probably rise and then they’ll be heading for an even bigger fall. For somebody like me who doesn’t abdicate responsibility easily – even when it’s self-imposed and demonstrably irrational – that’s a problem.
And of course, there’s always the possibility that the object of this horribly unbalanced situation might become a stalker. One of mine did – in a relatively minor sort of way – so I know how awful that can be.