(Our affair lasted sixteen years and was never consummated because
whereas I had a sense of adventure, she merely had good sense.)
My mother was vaguely privy to several of my dalliances, and
she used to like adding descriptive appendages to their names for the sake of
making their identities unequivocal. One was called Job Centre Janet, for
example. Another was Pickled Onion Sarah. I doubt that further elucidation
would add greatly to the canon of useful knowledge, so I won’t bother. It’s a
long drive to Beachy Head.
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