‘This is lookin’ real bad, Jim,’ says one of the minions to a man called Jim. ‘If I don’t make it and you do, would you take this letter to that little Russian guy who was sitting at the back of the room that day. Gosh, he sure was a cutie. Tell him I want him to find happiness with somebody else now that I’m gone.’
(Which just goes to show how courageous and gallant minions can be when they’re staring into perdition’s flame.)
Ah, but what do we see in the distance galloping to their aid? None other than the 7th Cavalry in the guise of the President of Russia.
‘He didn’t say nuth’n,’ yells Putin,
‘I was in the room and I didn’t hear nuth’n,’ agrees one of the minions.
‘Oh yes I did,’ intones the wagon master defiantly, ‘and I was perfectly entitled to because I’m President. So there.’
And then the pantomime chorus takes up the shout (I do hope everybody knows what a pantomime is):
‘Oh yes he did.’ (Cherokees.)
‘Oh no he didn’t.’ (Minions.)
‘Oh yes he did…’
What an inspiring picture it paints. It’s the stuff of which greatness is made.